We want to create a safe space for activists to go deep into their friendships which provide a stable place for them to grow, build their confidence, learn how to love and know their strengths and weaknesses which contributes to being truly humble. here are various formats to choose from. Anyone who is trying to make positive changes in the world–we call an activist!

I, Patricia, have been participating with 2 friends for over a year. We have continually refined this format so that it works really well–and we keep improving it. This connection has given me the strength to be able to do things like stand up to DxE and be willing to lose all my friends! They reflect back to me who I really am, and also help me see my weaknesses that I need to change. But they are so gentle and loving, acknowledging my weaknesses is much easier in an atmosphere of acceptance. 

You can learn more about friendship circles from a class that my friends and I are going to be presenting. Click here. 

Listed below are different formats for friendship circles. The content is the same, but the length of time for each part of the circle changes.

Formats for Friendship Circles

Number of people: 3

Determine who facilitator is and who is timing

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds

00.01 Setting the Intention: or prayer

Each person can share briefly their vision of how the time will go. 30 seconds 

00:03 Check in: 90 seconds each: thorns and roses 

Start by sharing:. Share briefly about your life since you last were with the group. Alternate with thorns and roses–things you are grateful for, things you are challenged by. what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences

00:08 :Incompletions: 8 minutes:  Something not resolved from a past interaction with both people. If it has to do with one of the people, resolve this at another time. if more than 5 minutes–do this outside of circle. if no incompletions, you can use the extra time for heart sharing. 

00: 16: Creative sharing: 3 minutes (song, poem, joke relating to friendship)

00:19 Heart Sharing Time:  (6 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy, Harmony stories, or anything else you want to do. (i will explain all these later) if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 2 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person  

After appreciation, each person says something like. “i hear you, I see you and I honor you in the name of love” the receiver breathes in all the loving appreciation, and has a moment of silence, than closes with thanks. 

add 4 more minutes for above 

00:53:  Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:56: Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:58 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, one minute of silence

do your best to say loving good byes, and not engage in more conversation–logistics especially–so that the sacred time can be ended with the prayer. 

Sometimes people will want to stay on the phone and talk longer about more logistics, or other topics–and that can be discussed during logistics. the main thing is that the ending is clear and good byes can be made for those who need to leave

Number of people: 3 90 minutes

Determine who facilitator is and who is timing (try to do ahead of time)

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds or prayer

00.01 Setting the Intention: read from friendship pledge or something else inspiring

Each person can share briefly their vision of how the time will go. 30 seconds 

00:03 Check in: 3 minutes seconds each: thorns and roses

Start by sharing:. Share briefly about your life since you last were with the group. Alternate with thorns and roses–things you are grateful for, things you are challenged by. what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences

00:08 :Incompletions: 8 minutes:  Something not resolved from a past interaction with both people. If it has to do with one of the people, resolve this at another time. if more than 5 minutes–do this outside of circle. if no incompletions, you can use the extra time for heart sharing. 

00: 16: Creative sharing: 3 minutes (song, poem, joke relating to friendship)

00:19 Heart Sharing Time:  (12 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy,Harmony stories, or anything else you want to do. if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 2 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person  

After appreciation, each person says something like. “i hear you, I see you and I honor you in the name of love” the receiver breathes in all the loving appreciation, and has a moment of silence, than closes with thanks. 

add 4 more minutes for above 

00:53:  Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:56: Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm 

when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:58 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, one minute of silence

do your best to say loving good byes, and not engage in more conversation–logistics especially–so that the sacred time can be ended with the prayer. 

Sometimes people will want to stay on the phone and talk longer about more logistics, or other topics–and that can be discussed during logistics. the main thing is that the ending is clear and good byes can be made for those who need to leave

 

Number of people: 4 time allowed: 60 minutes Determine who facilitator is and who is timing

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds

00.01 friendship pledge –one line

00:05 Check in: 1 minute  seconds each: thorns and roses

Start by sharing:. Share briefly about your life since you last were with the group. Alternate with thorns and roses–things you are grateful for, things you are challenged by. what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences

00:13 :Incompletions: 8 minutes:  Something not resolved from a past interaction with both people. If it has to do with one of the people, resolve this at another time. if more than 5 minutes–do this outside of circle. if no incompletions, you can use the extra time for heart sharing. 

00: 15: Creative sharing: 2 minutes (song, poem, joke relating to friendship)

00:17 Heart Sharing Time:  (4 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy,Harmony stories, or anything else you want to do. if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 1 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person 

total time:  34 minutes

After appreciation, each person says something like. “i hear you, I see you and I honor you in the name of love” the receiver breathes in all the loving appreciation, and has a moment of silence, than closes with thanks. 

00:51

 Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:56: Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:58 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, one minute of silence

do your best to say loving good byes, and not engage in more conversation–logistics especially–so that the sacred time can be ended with the prayer. 

Sometimes people will want to stay on the phone and talk longer about more logistics, or other topics–and that can be discussed during logistics. the main thing is that the ending is clear and good byes can be made for those who need to leave

Number of people: 3

Determine who facilitator is and who is timing

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds

00.01 Setting the Intention: or prayer

 

Each person can share briefly their vision of how the time will go. 30 seconds 

00:03 Check in: 90 seconds each: thorns and rosesh

Start by sharing:. Share briefly about your life since you last were with the group. Alternate with thorns and roses–things you are grateful for, things you are challenged by. what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences

00:08 :Incompletions: 8 minutes:  Something not resolved from a past interaction with both people. If it has to do with one of the people, resolve this at another time. if more than 5 minutes–do this outside of circle. if no incompletions, you can use the extra time for heart sharing. 

00: 16: Creative sharing: 3 minutes (song, poem, joke relating to friendship)

00:19 Heart Sharing Time:  (6 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy,Harmony stories, or anything else you want to do. if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 2 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person  

After appreciation, each person says something like. “i hear you, I see you and I honor you in the name of love” the receiver breathes in all the loving appreciation, and has a moment of silence, than closes with thanks. 

add 4 more minutes for above 

00:53:  Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:56: Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:58 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, one minute of silence

Number of people: 4 time allowed: 60 minutes Determine who facilitator is and who is timing

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds

00.01 friendship pledge –one line

Friendship circle: 5 people

:00 greetings (i really want to figure ou how to start smoothly without taking too much time–this part always seems kind of awkward) 1 minute

:01 silence 30 seconds: 

take about 2 or 3  deep breaths count to ten

:02 Check in: 30 minute  seconds each: a thorn and a rose (3 minutes)

what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences. Something that is meeting needs. something that is not meeting needs. 

00:05 Heart Sharing Time:  (4 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy,Harmony stories, Strengths and weaknesses or anything else you want to do. if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 22 minutes

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 1 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person 25 minutes

 :050 Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:55 Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:57 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, 30 seconds silence

:58 do your best to say loving good byes, and not engage in more conversation–logistics especially–so that the sacred time can be ended with the prayer. 

Sometimes people will want to stay on the phone and talk longer about more logistics, or other topics–and that can be discussed during logistics. the main thing is that the ending is clear and good byes can be made for those who need to leave

Number of people: 3

Determine who facilitator is and who is timing

Facilitator opens up with the following:

00.0 silence: 30 seconds

00.01 Setting the Intention: or prayer

Each person can share briefly their vision of how the time will go. 30 seconds 

00:03 Check in: 90 seconds each: thorns and rosesh

Start by sharing:. Share briefly about your life since you last were with the group. Alternate with thorns and roses–things you are grateful for, things you are challenged by. what is alive in you right now–just a few sentences

00:08 :Incompletions: 8 minutes:  Something not resolved from a past interaction with both people. If it has to do with one of the people, resolve this at another time. if more than 5 minutes–do this outside of circle. if no incompletions, you can use the extra time for heart sharing. 

00: 16: Creative sharing: 3 minutes (song, poem, joke relating to friendship)

00:19 Heart Sharing Time:  (6 min. each) Dyad questions, Immanuel Process, Empathy,Harmony stories, or anything else you want to do. if you want feedback, tell timer when to end your sharing time. 

Timer: please give a 30 second warning before the first section of time is up. 

Appreciation 2 minute each. Given after each heart sharing by each person  

After appreciation, each person says something like. “i hear you, I see you and I honor you in the name of love” the receiver breathes in all the loving appreciation, and has a moment of silence, than closes with thanks. 

add 4 more minutes for above 

00:53:  Reflection (1 Min. each.) What I appreciated about this specific call was… and 

IT would have been even better if…what i learned that i am going to apply in my life is…

(have someone assigned to write down improvements) 

00:56: Logistics: (2 minutes) confirm when you are meeting next time. anything that needs to be discussed that relates to those who are all present. (2 minutes)

00:58 Prayer (optional–just for folks who all agree that prayer is nurturing) otherwise, one minute of silence

do your best to say loving good byes, and not engage in more conversation–logistics especially–so that the sacred time can be ended with the prayer. 

Sometimes people will want to stay on the phone and talk longer about more logistics, or other topics–and that can be discussed during logistics. the main thing is that the ending is clear and good byes can be made for those who need to leave

Some Dyads Questions we have used in the past:

Tell me a block & a breakthrough (S)

Tell me a loss, tell me a gain 

Tell me something you are deprived of, celebrating 

Tell me something you are triggered by, something that will bring you peace 

Tell me something that is old and stale, new and good

Tell me a problem you are experiencing, a possible solution 

Tell me something that is disturbing your consciousness, something that will bring peace

Tell me something you are working on, celebrating (K)

Tell me something you are struggling with, celebrating

Tell me a regret, and a celebration 

Tell me something you feel hopeful about, hopeless about

Tell me a light inside, a shadow

Tell me something learning from the light, learning from the darkness

Tell me a way you feel connected to Jesus, disconnected to Jesus (P)

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