Bruxy Cavey, one of my favorite Christian teachers and leaders, spoke about God never became our enemy, but how we choose to be His enemy. That helps me realize that even though people may choose to be my enemy, I don’t have to be their enemy. With help from my daughter, Mahriyanna Kersbergen and son Christopher Mikkelson, I am remembering the times when I have made myself an enemy to another.
I am remembering the times, even recently, when I have justified my anger. I am recalling how I have been in denial and have betrayed people which is definitely a sign of an enemy. I have seen only the negative in people, and thus was not in a clear place to discern what was best to help that person.
I realize now that only when I am in a place of neutral–where I am not attached to the outcome because of my emotional agendas–can I make wise decision as to how to address small and large offenses. This may mean over looking them, sharing my truth and being willing to listen, or getting other people involved to help resolve the problem. Doing nothing is not the solution. But being in a neutral, loving space where I can, with the help of God and my friends, is the beginning of the solution.
Remembering the times when I was an enemy, and how I would have liked to have been treated, helps me to chart my course.