Being a Christ follower is being a part of a safe spiritual community where questions are a part of learning and doubt is a part of faith. How I wish that this kind of attitude could have been present with leadership of the Methodist Church I attended when I shared my doubts at age 16. Instead of having a conversation, first I was laughed at, then I was allowed to leave without any encouragement to go go deeper.
Then when I started experiencing doubts after I re-committed my life to Jesus at age 46, I was stripped of leadership capacity at my church and in many ways rejected. This was extremely hurtful, and almost lead me to leave my faith.
Fortunately I had enough of a relationship with Jesus after several years of fostering that relationship. So even though I dove into reading books that tried to prove that Jesus was not who he said he was, and the the Bible was not true–my faith just became stronger. I noticed the illogical deductions that these authors came to seemed to come from anger and frustration because their faith had been challenged by Christians who (I think) were not really disciples of Jesus.
Many heroes of the faith had a doubting faith starting with Abraham. Doubt is not bad. It does not discredit our faith. But it is what we do with that doubt that is important.
I loved this teaching by Bruxy Cavey. It gave me reassurance that although I still doubt at times, I am okay. But really, my faith is stronger than ever. I hope you will listen or watch this wonderful sermon from The Meeting House.
Bruxy emphasized that faith is an action–not an internal psychological certitude.