I am trying an experiment of having quiet time with God by writing a journal. Joyce Meyers recommends that quiet time with God doesn’t have to look at certain way. I have had the hardest time setting aside regular time to be with God, but maybe if I am glued to the computer it might help. I feel like I am with God all day, but some focused time in the morning would be helpful. Joyce described this time as “hanging out with God” just as you would with a friend. No agenda. Here goes…
Okay Papa. Here I am. I want to spend some quality, focused time with you. No distractions. My dream is that I can get closer to you. I hope that by sharing this time it will be even easier for me to have you with me 24/7
I know. I am going to start by tell you all the things i am grateful for. I know that is in the bible–be grateful for everything–even the seemingly negative stuff.
I feel so grateful that I have this job cleaning the office building next door to the Pack Rat. The work is fairly easy, with lots of little details to take care of–just my kind of work. I love that I don’t have to think a lot once I tackle a job, and thus it is easy to listen to Joyce Meyers preach. It is strange how I just can’t get enough of her. She is one of the he few Christian prechers I have listened to who really inspires me by her presence and her vitality. Now that I think of it, there are few women preachers on BOT radio which you know I listen to a lot. I could go on and on about Joyce, but I will focus on gratitude–I am grateful that I got to borrow cd’s and a cd player from a friend so I could listen.
It amazes me, Papa, how the ice storm has continually blessed me. Because I was willing to take a chance on working with Ab, we were sitting in Arsaga’s encouraging each other to get jobs. I have a hard time going out to get work by myself. The bible talks about many times how we need each other for so many reasons. I am grateful that you set it up that way so that the devil couldn’t get his way of dividing and conquering us.
I remember clearly that night in Arsaga’s, Papa. You were really with us. Ab and I had connected that morning in the parking lot at the farm neighborhood where we live. I knew Ab a little bit and liked him. He was new on the farm, and a bit scared, it seemed. Only in his early twenties, I feel sad when I think about how he had rotted teeth because of health challenges. Bless him where ever he is, Lord.
Anyway, you remember how I wanted to go out and make some money by clearing out ice storm damage. I had one little job with my friend Martin. I was just going to use my loppers and do my best. But Ab had a chain saw, and he said he would join me in trying to find more jobs. When we got in the car, I asked him if it was okay if I prayed, and he was very enthusiastic. So we prayed and asked you to bless our time together, which you did.
We did the job for martin, and then we went around to neighborsto ask if they wanted help. One next door neighbor was willing to take a chance and paid us twenty dollars for an hour’s work. Remember, (of course you do!) how we only charged ten dollars an hour?
I’m sensing you want to say something. Of course i don’t know if these are your exact words, but I am going to try to type them. In italycs
Dear Patricia, I am so glad that you were able to tune in with me that morning. You were really afraid to go out and get work, but you knew you needed money to support your family, and you were willing to stretch. I wanted Ab to have your good encouragement, and his life has been changed because of your presence–even though you have no idea of how.
I love you so much my darling. because you are so willing to go out on a limb, I can help you. I can work with you to bring our common goal of bringing my kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. Your willingness to take a chance and look stupid makes it easier for me to flow with you.
I feel grateful to you, dear one, because you were willing to take Ab, who appeared to be “the least of them” and work with him. Yes, you used your wisdom–you knew that others respected and trusted him–at the same time, he is very different from you in many ways. I love the way that you can embrace people who are different. I want to hear more from you my dear.
Thank you Papa. I feel your love so strongly. What a relief it is for me to know that you are especially fond of everyone, and that I am not any better than anyone else in your eyes–but I can yearn for everyone to feel your love like I do.
So you want to hear more, Papa? I smile when I think about how I told Ab that if we wanted to get work, we would just have to get on our cell phones and call everyone we knew. So we sat at Arsaga’s and did just that. We got zero jobs through our calls. But we made a funny looking flyer, and Ab went to Harps to put it up. A cashier saw him putting it up, and told him that he was going to call his father who might need some work. The cashier did just that, and we talked to Kenneth who said he had a big job, and we could have it if we wanted it. Did we want it! We were just a little desperate.
I regret that I felt desperate, Papa. I hope I can continue this journey of totally trusting you. It is hard for me when I think of how many people who are suffering. I have a question which I am already hearing the answer. If other people suffer so much, what is keeping me from suffering? And what about my children–maybe I could handle the suffering, but what about my children?
My darling Patricia, how I yearn to totally and utterfly keep you safe from all harm. The only guarantee I have is that my grace will be sufficient for you whenever you do have suffering–I will be with you and I will help you through it. As for your children, that is the hardest. But I will be with them also to the extent they can let me in. that is why it is so important for you to help them have an intimate relationship with me. Not only for the good times, but for the worst times.
Because I allowed people to choose to be separate, many have gone astray and have believed that if they did things that hurt people they would find the happiness they want. Of course we know that is not the case–they don’t seem happy–such as a person who rapes someone. But they are driven by belief that they will get relief from their unhappiness if they will just get this or that. They don’t realize that what they yearn for is Me and my all sufficient love and grace and power and joy. Too many people have come in the name of me or my son and have hurt them, so they have been turned off and turned away.
Patricia, I know how much you desire to help create a world with out suffering, and it is possible in spite of what so many m ight say. I pray (yes, I pray also–it is merely my expression of desire) that you and I can work together to bring my kingdom on earth through the various projects you are envisioning. A new world is coming–remember hwo you used to love to sing that song,and still do. I am here to help you to do your part. I am here eternally and constantly and without fail. You just have to do your part–listen, obey, serve.
Thanks Papa. It is kind of weird writing like this, but I am enjoying it. I never did like it when people channeled you or non-physical entities. But after all, we all hear your voice through filters–I am just trying to hear yours. You kind of sound like me–but maybe with practice I can get more out of the way–but it feels good to imagine what you might say, and have faith that you love me so much.
So back to my story…we ended up going to the job at 8am, and unheard of time for either of us. But we wanted to make some good money, and wanted to get the job done. It was really, really cold. Somehow we got there, and I think we impressed Kenneth with our diligence. He went on to church with his family, and left us with the big mess. It was a big job, ended up taking about five days.
Another thing that I am grateful for was when we were at Arsaga’s I saw my friend Riverstone whom I had met at a networking meeting. I told him what we were doing, and he said he had a friend who was doing the same thing and getting lots of jobs. I didn’t connect with him right away. But when Ab was unable to help any longer, Mike, (Riverstone’s friend) was able to help me do jobs I had already lined up. Plus I helped Mike with a few other jobs which he lined up. That was an amazing week of work–I have never worked so hard in my life! It was fun, in many ways, to be outside, meeting new people and working with Ab and Michael.
And finally, it was Kenneth who asked me to help with landscaping at his office, which I do, and from time to time he has odd jobs for me. So he hired me and Robert to get this office ready to rent. I just love the way you work, Papa!
And I want to acknowledge you, Patricia, because you were faithful. You showed up, communicated, and did a good job for Kenneth. You followed my instructions which I clearly share many places in the bible about being a good steward. Of course I know you are not perfect, and I continue to prune you so that you can be an even better representative of my kingdom–but you are realizing that this is a joyful process. I am not trying to hurt you when I prune you, but only help you be more fruitful.
Patricia, I want to remind you not to ever get self-righteous about your ability to do good work and be faithful. so many of my children have a hard time with this because of past hurts. They are easily overwhelmed and just have a hard time existing. I created you so that you would be able to easily see the big picture, and thus not be overwhelmed. Those who are more detail oriented and thus can get overwhelmed because they see so many details to take care of at once and feel hopeless–are no less than you. Remember it takes all kinds of people to create the kingdom.
Oh, Papa, you know my battle is that I tend to compare myself to others. Please help me to just see every single person through your eyes, every moment. It is so easy to forget.And it is a little bit scary. I think i also can’t believe that I can exist loving every single person I see or come into contact with or hear about or read or read about. I know that is what you want, though.
Yes, patricia, you can do it. You were made to love. As Joyce told you, I did not put any commandments in the bible that I did not give you the power to carry out. Love one another. Love your neighbor. Forgive everyone. Forgive always. Don’t worry. Love me with all your heart, mind and soul. Give and it shall be given unto you. Ask and you shall receive. Seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall open.
Oh, how I yearn to pour down my blessings upon you. Yet because of your psat conditioning, you go to the ocean with a spoon when you could take a bucket. I know it is hard in this society. I know that you look upon rich people with disdain and don’t want to be anything like them, just like you disliked Joyce Meyers for her desires to have beautiful clothes.
Yet my dear, I also say Judge not lest ye be judged. You can discern, and try to understand, and share your feelings and observations and encourage dialogue, but you just don’t know what is in the heart of another because of external situations. Just see them through my eyes. Send especially wealthy people your love. Bless them. Pray that they will use their money wisely. Pray that you can have the purity of spirit that could get through to them.
I know your heart, my dear one. You love people so much. You experience their pain. From an early age you have had the gift of empathy which your mother and father helped foster. In spite of their imperfections, they really allowed you to blossom in the way you needed to. Yes you remember mostly the bad times, but you forget too often all the times your parents gave you freedom and encouragement to be who you needed to be.
Remember how they would let you take over the garage so you could play store and cultivate your organizing skills? Remember how your mom let you create a huge mess in the kitchen while you experimented with culinary arts? Remember how she did not critisize you because you loved Christmas so much that you would start playing Christmas music in October, and re-wrap presents after Christmas was over?
I feel disappointed because all the workshops you went to focused on the bad things that happened to you, rather than what you could feel grateful and delighted about. Yes, it is good to recall and then forgive the negative actions that hurt you. Yet, I want you to recall and delight and savor those moments where you were nurtured so much. You are now able to pass that legacy and more to your children because of your parents.
Well, Papa, I need to get back to work. I mean, I want to go to work so I can finish this job and be in integrity with my schedule. I want to continue this conversation all through the day. I want to meditate on the words I have heard, celebrate all the good things that have happened to me, recall the countless times that I have been saved by you–even when I had not committed my life to your dear son Jesus. You know that since I invited Jesus to live in my heart that you have been able to work in my life so much more. That is a whole nother story!
Any closing thoughts, Papa–and are you okay with me stopping this more formal time of togetherness?
Just remember that with me, all things are possible. I want you to keep dreaming your dreams, and don’t let anything stop you…then I can help you co-create the world you yearn to have filled with thriving, joyful people who nurture the environment and all life. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. And everyone else, too.
Thanks Papa–this was really enjoyable.